A Dip

This is gonna seem bi-polar, but I just don't even want to go to my EMT class today.

I'm just...ashamed? Embarrassed? Mad at myself? All of those things and more.

I failed my trauma test and patient skills assessment Tuesday. The thing is, I know the information, so why didn't I apply it? The computer exam was really difficult. It was hard, at least for me it was. That tells me I need to do more reading or do something to remember everything better...re-read over a bunch of stuff.

I just...flopped on my skills assessment though. I got so nervous, and it was just my instructor Ben! I can't believe I just...I don't know. My mind kept going blank...and I kept forgetting what I had done and what I hadn't done. My patient had been beaten unconscious and so I put him on a BVM, and forgot to insert an oral adjunct, which could have taken care of his breathing problem and I wouldn't even have to put him on a BVM...and so, that was a critical criteria and it failed me. I got zero points.

My grade took a dip. It scares me. I only have a few weeks to get my grade back up.

...and now I get to check off on that same skills assessment. This time, it'll go on my record.

Please be praying for me!

Sarah