Failure Is Sometimes God's Plan Too

Have you ever worked so hard on something, did your best, went above and beyond and yet it didn't work out? You failed?

It happened to me yesterday. I still can't believe it.

If you've been reading, you know I'm on a quest (let's make it sound cooler then it is...) to become a paramedic. I'm currently (or was) enrolled in EMC 110 and was getting ready for my practicals and NREMT. Well, it's all changed.
I took a final yesterday that changed my whole timeline. It changed everything. I was just a couple of points away from getting the right score to participate in the practicals.
So I'm not getting certified this summer like I planned. I won't be an EMT this fall like I planned...
...and it's killing me.

I cried yesterday all the way home from class, up until bed, then when I woke up this morning. I just can't take it in. I worked, so, so hard this semester...for nothing? I neglected my friends and family, stayed home and studied, didn't participate in fun outings...I tried my very hardest and I still didn't make it. I prayed yesterday with my grandmother, and I realized something.

If I tried my very hardest and did everything I could, this must be God's plan. I wasn't meant to get certified this summer for some reason or another. I still don't get it, but I know God will show me the answer loud and clear and I'll know it when He does.
It's still hard to chew though. It's terrible, it's horrible...but I'm still trying to come to terms with how to thankful for what happened. I know there's an ultimate reason and God has protected me in some way...but its just so hard...because I worked so hard and I selfishly don't wanna let go of that.

I'm working on it though. Slowly.

I think another good cry and God's Word might help. Just please keep me in your prayers.

-Sarah 

Beautiful, gorgeous Kentucky River

Feeling very, very blessed to live where I do. God gave us something beautiful to enjoy...enjoy it!

-Sarah

SPRING!

And then there was Spring! Finally!

-Sarah

Miss him...

I just miss him so, so much.

- Sarah

A Dip

This is gonna seem bi-polar, but I just don't even want to go to my EMT class today.

I'm just...ashamed? Embarrassed? Mad at myself? All of those things and more.

I failed my trauma test and patient skills assessment Tuesday. The thing is, I know the information, so why didn't I apply it? The computer exam was really difficult. It was hard, at least for me it was. That tells me I need to do more reading or do something to remember everything better...re-read over a bunch of stuff.

I just...flopped on my skills assessment though. I got so nervous, and it was just my instructor Ben! I can't believe I just...I don't know. My mind kept going blank...and I kept forgetting what I had done and what I hadn't done. My patient had been beaten unconscious and so I put him on a BVM, and forgot to insert an oral adjunct, which could have taken care of his breathing problem and I wouldn't even have to put him on a BVM...and so, that was a critical criteria and it failed me. I got zero points.

My grade took a dip. It scares me. I only have a few weeks to get my grade back up.

...and now I get to check off on that same skills assessment. This time, it'll go on my record.

Please be praying for me!

Sarah

Second Ambulance Ride-Along!

Okay, so I had a great, but tiring, but GREAT day!

Why? Because I had my second day of ride-along time! I just love being on the ambulance! I don't know what it is. Even though all I've really done is take vitals, write patient reports for class and help with the stretchers...I still love it. And I love learning new things that the paramedics teach me while riding. I've learned so, so much!

Gaaaaahhhhhhh....I think I'm in love. I'm blessed.

I sat in the back (in the "captain's chair" or whatever...) and wrote out my patient care reports most of the time. They're really sloppy...and I didn't use military time (whoops!). I'm still not used to using it and it takes time for me to count up the time...lol.

This video is sideways, but it shows me riding in the back, trying to be all sneaky, because there's no way I wanted those cool paramedics to know the wannabe-EMT was taking videos in the back, :) (really, I was just trying to get some videos to send Austin...lol)

We were really busy today though. We left the station at about 7:45am and didn't get back until about 2:00pm. Then I had one last ride with another truck that was on first shift. I got 5/10 patient contacts! I'll get the rest next Monday...

I just love it all....but the paperwork. Yuck. I already don't like it...but I guess it must be done....

Just wanted to share my day with ya'll! I'm blessed! God has given me so much!

-Sarah

*SQUUUUE*

I'm going on my second ambulance ride along as an EMT student tomorrow morning. *SQUUUUEEEE*
Over and out. 

-Sarah